“I could have had titles, money, the lot.”. Dillon seemed to relish his role as her protector, fingering his droll little beard, dropping Latin words and medical terms. A penis, along with the beard and the pipe, would hide his history, keep his secret that much safer. When the term ended, Dillon would ride a train through the English countryside to small town called Basingstoke, home to Rooksdown House, the hospital overseen by Sir Harold Gillies. Born Robert in 1918, Cowell rose to fame prior to the outbreak of the Second World War as a racing car driver. Together they agreed that he would help her transition by performing a procedure that was prohibited under so-called “mayhem” laws, forbidding the intentional “disfiguring” of men who would otherwise qualify to serve in the military. They had two daughters, Anne and Diana. At any rate, he didn't care to risk finding out. This had been reinforced by a book called “Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology” (1946) by Michael Dillon, a medical student whom she sought out in 1950. But the patients knew that once they boarded the train, they would become pariahs at the very next town - passengers would flinch, stare, scuttle away from them. Overlooked No More: Roberta Cowell, Trans Trailblazer, Pilot and Auto Racer. It would be a grueling process, and Gillies could not guarantee the results. From an early age, she wrote, she felt conflicted about her gender, compensating for feminine “characteristics” with an “aggressively masculine manner” that persuaded gay men to take her “for one of themselves.”, Physically, she was sensitive about being overweight, displaying what she called “feminoidal fat distribution.” In her teenage years, other pupils nicknamed her “Circumference” and “Bottom.” She left school at 16 to work briefly as an apprentice engineer until she joined the Royal Air Force in 1935. He befriended a man with plastic ears, the girl who'd been scalped by a factory machine, and the Navy officer who'd had his genitals ripped off by the gears of a machine - "the nature of his operation was similar to my own." After all, if she was ever to emerge from the awful limbo of her body, she would need his help. But she also detected a mounting sense of “restlessness and unhappiness,” she wrote in her autobiography, and resolved to undergo Freudian psychoanalysis. She was transferred to Stalag Luft I, a prison camp for Allied aircrews in north Germany near the Baltic Sea between Lübeck and Rostock. This month we’re adding the stories of important L.G.B.T. He became bland-looking, unremarkable, ordinary - which was what he'd always wanted. Early life and transition. She implored him for help; she needed him utterly. Dillon proposed an idea that seemed wildly radical at that time: Why not give patients the bodies they wanted? The operation, thus, was conducted in great secrecy, and its success enabled Cowell to seek medical affidavits to have her birth gender formally re-registered as female. Towards the end of her school days, she visited Belgium, Germany, and Austria with a school friend. Directed by John Hayes Fisher. Whether her views would have changed over time will never be known; in 1972 she said she was writing a second autobiography, but it was never published. For the first time in his life, Dillon allowed himself to believe that one person might be able to understand him. The flight, she said, had been scheduled as the “very last trip of my second tour of operations.” In fact it was her last flight of the war. Conditions at Stalag Luft I worsened as the end of the war approached, with Soviet Red Army troops advancing across Germany toward Berlin. Excerpted by permission. She became the first woman on record to take the drug with the intention of changing her sex. Ordinary dresses filled her with the sickening sense that she had been obliterated. So in the early 1940s, Dillon sought out Sir Harold Gillies, Britain's top plastic surgeon. More than passed. Her ambition was to become a fighter pilot, but she was found to suffer from acute airsickness and was deemed “permanently unfit for further flying duties with the R.A.F.”. During the university term, he shadowed doctors on their hospital rounds, assisted in the surgical theater, and even performed an appendectomy. He couldn't bear that. Dillon was lonely in the way we can all recognize, and he also suffered from a brand-new, 20th century solitude too, one that had never existed before - the loneliness of a medical miracle, of the person who has experienced unique states of mind and body. She had yet to go through the vaginal-construction surgery and the facelift, but already she scorched the eyes of sailors as she flitted past them on the sidewalk. The encounter was “so shattering that the scene will be crystal-clear in my memory for the rest of my life,” she wrote. The interwar idea of ‘sex change’ implied that sex or gender fluidity was possible, and that individuals might choose their sex. “I preferred to steer clear of children and elderly ladies; they were too observant or at least too outspoken in their remarks.”. It was not until the 1950s that transitioning became medically possible and eventually available in Britain. Now, sixty years later the amazing untold medical history of the first sex changes can be told. And then Roberta Cowell slid into the seat across from him at that London restaurant, and he dared to hope again. Food supplies were so meager, she wrote, that inmates ate stray cats raw and she lost 49 pounds. He liked to lecture his dates about how the female brain was more suited to housework than intellectual pursuits - a strategy guaranteed to stifle any romance. 1 Early life and transition; 2 Self and Roberta Cowell; 3 Later life; 4 Works; 5 Notes; 6 References; Early life and transition. He glanced up at Roberta, and then, finally, spoke. Both of them pushed Laura away. He wanted her to know everything. Still, he loved the way he looked in his tie and tails; he enjoyed a night of dancing, and an evening of playful flirting eased his loneliness a bit. He had decided, from the logic of his own profound isolation, that Cowell must be his soulmate. Still, she preferred their taunts to the alternative: female clothing. In his terrible loneliness, Roberta Cowell began to haunt his thoughts. Sir Harold, as the patients called him, understood that recovery had as much to do with the mind as the body. It was 1951 now, Cowell had turned herself into a va-va-voom peroxide blonde; she'd begun venturing out onto the streets of London in a wig, skirt, make-up. His brother, Sir Robert Dillon, was the eighth Baronet of Lismullen in Ireland. Roberta Cowell had discovered Michael Dillon's book and decided she had to meet the open-minded scholar. Madly In Love Vintage Girls Retro Crossdressers Transgender The Twenties Captain Hat Romance The Incredibles. His brother, Sir Robert Dillon, was the eighth Baronet (of Lismullen in Ireland). And why did Dillon want the penis so badly? It was huge, and in a constant state of semi-erection." He'd wanted her to see how he'd turned that suffering into a handsome piece of flesh. Dillon had enjoyed only a few close friendships, and these had almost always been with men - back-slapping boys who accepted Dillon as a brother. The disclosure of her death inspired a brief resurgence of media interest in her story, focusing partly on what was broadly depicted as the severing of all ties with her two daughters and on the idiosyncratic circumstances of her transition. Then, Michael Dillon fell silent. She refused to let them see how they got to her. The book brought him to the attention of Roberta Cowell, who by Dillon’s hand would become the first British trans woman to receive MTF sex reassignment surgery. She achieved fame — and received several marriage proposals — when her story was told in newspapers and in Picture Post magazine. With the help of hormones and plastic surgeon Sir Harold Gillies, Michael got a male body and genitals. Roberta Cowell's surgical transformation and friendship with the female-to-male transsexual Michael Dillon, also operated on by the plastic surgeon Sir Harold Gillies, is documented in the book The First Man-Made Man by Pagan Kennedy. Fearing that her captors would treat her harshly, she twice sought to escape and twice she failed. Her wrists - slim and delicate from the estrogen treatments - peeped out of the cuffs of her sleeves. When Jorgensen died of cancer in 1989 at 62, the event was recorded in an obituary in The New York Times. She began to live a double life, taking hormone treatments to enhance her femininity while still living as a man. People, she wrote, would speculate openly on her gender. Robert Cowell's decision to become Roberta (pictured) was sparked by a meeting with Michael Dillon - the first woman in the world to become a man - whom he fell madly in love with. About the relationship between Michael Dillon, the world's first woman to become a man, and Roberta Cowell, a former spitfire pilot and war hero who was Britain's first man to become a woman. Not bad-looking, he was a very masculine type.". They ordered coffee. She didn't think she could go on this way anymore. Dillon had learned this early on. In May 1945, as German forces surrendered, their captors abandoned the facility, leaving it unguarded until Soviet troops liberated it. The children and old ladies were the cruelest, shouting insults or demanding Laura explain herself. Cowell played along. Cowell’s name has been summoned as a trailblazer in the years since her death, her transition having preceded by decades the public discourse over gender identity and L.G.B.T.Q. He'd unzipped for her; he'd showed her the evidence of his excruciating pain, all those operations and infections. Eventually, Cowell (a former Royal Air Force captain) would garner fame as a … Then, in 1972, she reappeared when she gave an interview to justify her gender reassignment. Rather, a penis would serve as a membership card into the world of men, their bathrooms and their gentlemen's clubs in London. She had begun dosing herself on massive amounts of estrogen - enough to melt away her muscles and put a blush in her cheeks. She persuaded them “in my halting German” that she was not a bomber pilot and told them the untruth that her mother and father had been killed in a German raid on London. Now, finally, they sat across from one another. He clearly liked to throw his opinions around, especially with a lady present. Though Dillon was not yet a licensed physician, he himself performed an orchidectomy on Cowell, since … To keep the other students from asking questions, he cultivated a reputation as a stodgy bachelor, an older student who sequestered himself in the little house he owned. In fact, Roberta Cowell had been born male, but she could not live as a man anymore. But hormones could only take Dillon so far. "Dillon did not exactly have the most perfectly developed sense of humor," according to Cowell. None, probably. Whenever Dillon traveled to London, he made sure to call on her. I could walk past anyone and not fear to hear any comments for no one looked at me twice," he wrote about his earliest, testosterone-fueled transformation. I had never seen anything like it. Gillies had operated on Michael Dillon, but vaginoplasty was then an entirely novel procedure, which Gillies had only performed experimentally on a cadaver. Michael and Roberta began to fall in love and considered marriage. More than a decade earlier, an athletic blonde named Laura Dillon roared through the streets of Bristol on her motorbike. The local people had grown used to seeing to patients without noses or jaws walking around town. "This was no ordinary place," Sir Harold wrote, with typical understatement. "How different was life now! Laura Dillon as a teenager, left, and Michael Dillon with his aunt in 1950. Maybe too masculine. But the attempt never came about. Or a burn victim wearing blue toenail polish. Although Cowell enjoyed some publicity, she dropped out of the public eye after writing her autobiography. “It was the be-all and nearly the end-all of my existence,” she said in her autobiography. He kept his distance by treating women in a "rough brotherly fashion," developing a reputation as a bit of a woman-hater. His brother, Sir Robert Dillon, was the eighth Baronet of Lismullen in Ireland. Transas City . Roberta's life is described in her biography, Roberta Cowell's Story. In 1948, Cowell left her family and sought help. She was three years younger than he was, but seemed younger than that. A handful of friends attended her funeral, but, apparently at her request, there was no fanfare for the woman who had helped pioneer gender reassignment at a time when it was virtually taboo. If discovered, Dillon would almost certainly have been prevented from completing his studies to become a physician. Her transition — and all of the yearnings and hopes that came with it — involved hormone treatments and surgeries despite what some regarded in strait-laced 1950s Britain as flouting contemporary laws. Somewhere in there lived the one woman who could understand him, the one woman who could recognize him as a real man. Soon afterward, Cowell became a patient of Harold Gillies, a pioneer of plastic surgery who had performed gender-affirming surgery on Dillon, according to the book “The First Man-Made Man: The Story of Two Sex Changes, One Love Affair, and a Twentieth-Century Medical Revolution” (2006). The word "transsexual" had yet to enter common usage. Americans were perhaps more familiar with Christine Jorgensen, a former U.S. Army clerk who transitioned in Denmark just months after Cowell. Laurence Michael Dillon (born Laura Maud Dillon, 1 May 1915 - 15 May 1962) was a British physician and the first trans man to undergo phalloplasty. Some of the patients at Rooksdown were so disfigured that, even with the best care, they would remain outcasts for the rest of their lives. She wrote back to him, when she could find the time. Furthermore, if Dillon fell ill, a penis would allow him to check into a hospital without having to explain why his genitals did not match the rest of his body. The two men then helped Michael's great love, rally driver Roberta Cowell, to undergo gender correction from man to woman. Yet by the time Cowell died in 2011 at 93, her voyage across the lines of gender and social norms had faded into obscurity. The boy and the girl in question were Michael Dillon and Roberta Cowell, but I’m willing to bet most people have never heard of either of them. Not necessarily for sex. "At Christmas ... there was a grand party on the Eve, which I M.C. But now, he shared a table with the first person he'd ever met who entered that blur of hormones, who planned to transform her body just as he had. Pills saved her. Michael Dillon, the medical student, had authored what was then one of the few books in the world to delve into the subject. Laurence Michael Dillon (born Laura Maud Dillon; 1915–1962) was a British physician and the first female-to-male transsexual to undergo phalloplasty. She relied on him, he liked to believe, not just as a doctor but also a man with a superior mind, who could guide her through difficulties. Laurence Michael Dillon (born Laura Maud Dillon; 1 May 1915 – 15 May 1962) was a British physician and the first trans man to undergo phalloplasty. So during the mid-1940s, Dillon lived a curious double life: he was both a medical student in Dublin and a patient in England. The year was 1950; the city, London; the restaurant, discreet. And so he avoided women. "It wasn't any kind of seduction scene. He didn't laugh. During the lunch, Dillon announced that five years earlier he was a woman named Laura, and Roberta stated she was on her way to full womanhood from being Robert. Dillon would eventually undergo a series of thirteen operations to construct a penis. “Since May 18th, 1951, I have been Roberta Cowell, female,” she pronounced in her autobiography. In 1950, whilst taking oestrogen but still living as a man, Cowell met Michael Dillon, a British physician and the first female-to-male transsexual to undergo phalloplasty surgery. He began the treatments in 1946, while he was a student at Trinity College medical school in Dublin and he finished his surgeries in 1949, a year before he met Roberta Cowell. Cowell wrote in her autobiography “Roberta Cowell’s Story,” that during their meeting, over lunch, Dillon revealed that he had himself changed his gender identity through doses of testosterone and gender-affirming surgery. But after a splash in the 1950s, she withdrew from public life and died in obscurity. He - or was it a she? And so he trusted Roberta immediately. In the early days of her captivity, she said, an Allied air raid on Frankfurt forced her and her captors into a bomb shelter where angry German civilians realized that she was an enemy pilot. But both Roberta Cowell and Michael Dillon were profoundly unhappy and desperate to do whatever was necessary to release them from bodies which did not feel like their own. She wore her hair short and a sports jacket hid her breasts; a skirt, her only concession to femininity, flapped around her calves. In the social order of the time, it was guaranteed that Roberta Cowell would be educated in tuition-based, single-sex schools. After World War II, she developed an interest in the idea of a combination of hormone therapy and surgery to more closely align her body with her gender identity. This had been reinforced by a book called “Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology” (1946) by Michael Dillon, a medical student whom she sought out in 1950. In the mid 20th century, Michael Dillon underwent the world's first gender correction from woman to man. Still, this passing came at an emotional cost; a rigidly moral man, he had to lie constantly. “If it gives real happiness,” Gillies wrote of his procedures, “that is the most that any surgeon or medicine can give.”. You see, Roberta Cowell was born Robert Cowell in 1918. Then they parted. There have been attempted suicides.”. Laura Dillon attended St Anne's College, Oxford, became president of the Oxford University Women's Boat club, and won a blue for rowing. Serving the Kansas and Missouri Transgender Community. This allowed her to have a new birth certificate issued on 17 May 1951, with her recorded sex changed to … "I don't really see why I shouldn't tell you. She enlisted in the Army in 1940. He puffed smoke and fidgeted with his coffee cup but did not drink. He'd dared to confide in so few friends, and even the kindest of them had never really understood. She wrote about her transition — and all of the yearnings and hopes that came with it — in an autobiography, “Roberta Cowell’s Story.”. She crash-landed the stricken warplane and was taken prisoner. When we returned we would greet old friends and be introduced to new ones," he wrote later. As a result, Rooksdown became the kind of place where, even in the middle of the night, you might come across a one-eyed man teaching himself to ride a bicycle down the hall. By the end of lunch, he'd poured out his story to her - surprising even himself with his openness. Over a period of several years, the hormone therapy transformed her into a muscular, deep-voiced man with fuzz on his cheeks. He assured her that sex changes did exist. Roberta Elizabeth Marshall Cowell (no relation to the author of this article) was born on April 8, 1918, in Croydon, south of London, one of three children born to Dorothy Elizabeth Miller and a high-ranking military surgeon, Maj. Gen. Ernest Marshall Cowell, who had served as a physician in both world wars and, in 1944, was appointed honorary surgeon to King George VI. After they'd eaten, she lingered at the table to debate the issue of women's intelligence. The pioneering trans people were Michael Dillon and Roberta Cowell. Maurice Ambler/Picture Post and Hulton Archive, via Getty Images, Roberta Cowell on the cover of Picture Post magazine in March 1954. the cover of Britain’s popular Picture Post magazine, Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology. Roberta Cowell attended Whitgift School, a boys' public school in Croydon and was an enthusiastic member of the school's Motor Club, along with John Cunningham, who would later be famous as an RAF night fighter ace and test pilot. He sent her long confessional letters about his girlhood and his years at Oxford. It was an attitude that Cowell couldn't abide. In fact, Laura had grown up thinking of herself as above the common lot. I did know about Roberta Cowell’s story and her transition and also that of Michael Dillon, however I wasn’t aware that Roberta died in such tragic circumstances. Only in 2013 — two years after her death — was her passing reported, by the British newspaper The Independent on Sunday. Robert Cowell had flown spitfires in the Second World War, raced in the Belgian Grand Prix and fathered two children when he decided to become a woman. Laurence Michael Dillon (1 May 1915 – 15 May 1962) was a British physician and the first female-to-male transsexual to undergo phalloplasty. In 1950, Cowell was taking oestrogen when she encountered Michael Dillon (born Laura Dillon), a British physician and the first female-to-male transsexual to undergo phalloplasty surgery. If the rumor got out that Michael Dillon, brother to a baronet, had once been a girl, the gossip would surely be trumpeted in every low-class newspaper in Britain. Her cheeks flamed pink, so soft below the short man's haircut. By several accounts, Dillon fell deeply in love with Cowell, but she ultimately rejected his proposal of marriage. And all she could do was snigger. Five years ago I was a woman.". In her autobiography, she described the surreal elements of wartime life, relating perilous adventures with ironic detachment. When they came toward her, Laura froze her face into a mask. Stunted by years of ridicule, Dillon flowered in the tolerant atmosphere of Rooksdown: he turned witty, expansive, even popular. Though, really, how could he have laughed? Or a surgeon pouring a pint of human blood into the tomato patch. “It seemed to do the trick and the angry growling died down,” she wrote in her autobiography. She made a joke about the thing being rough-hewn. Overlooked is a series of obituaries about remarkable people whose deaths, beginning in 1851, went unreported in The Times. While an arcane law protected male genitals from "mutilation," no such bans applied to female genitals and reproductive organs. Cowell wrote in her autobiography “ Roberta Cowell’s Story ,” that during their meeting, over lunch, Dillon revealed that he had himself changed his gender identity through doses of testosterone and gender-affirming surgery. At least the operation would be legal. Now and then he asked young women out to dances and swooped around the floor in his white tie and tails. Her body was found on Oct. 11, 2011, in her small apartment in southwest London by the building superintendent. With her broad shoulders, patrician accent, and Eton haircut, she could easily pass for a pampered young man. She was indeed a trailblazer and her life illustrates how vulnerable so many trans people are and also how many of us need therapy and support even when we seem to be in a “good place”. As soon as Dillon could looked entirely male, he became invisible. But blink again and Laura was nothing but a cross-dressed girl. By the early 1940s, Dillon had mustered the courage to leave the garage for medical school - under his male name. Within days, Cowell and other British captives had been flown home aboard American Flying Fortress bombers. The immediate postwar years confronted Cowell with the practical problems of earning a living, variously building and racing cars and renovating houses to sell at a profit. Ethics weren't the half of it. In 1950, Michael Dillon, a dapper, bearded medical student, met Roberta Cowell, a boyish-looking woman, for lunch in a discreet London restaurant. 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